Thursday, March 26, 2009

Rules for Women - These are meant to be Followed !!!

I am re-posting this as my good friend was upset that I put his name here as the one who forwarded me the following thread ... and I just could not help LMAO (Laughing my Ass Off) and had to had to had to post it here for everyone to read ... 3 Cheers to my friend for a great forward, and 3 cheers to his wife, if she manages to make him sleep on the couch outside tonight :)

Here you go :


We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

All the best to my good friend and all the best to all the males in the world :)
May we get to live these rules and may a day come when all these rules are scripted and framed for every female to read, understand and more importantly act upon :)




Kosha said...

Looks like it's time I need to talk to Dipali...hmmm...You surely need more punishment from all the girls.
(Evenif some things are very true in your blog)


Anonymous said...

Oh wow!! :)
This is awesome gyaan, dude! Just awesome! :D

Anonymous said...

wah bhai wah...

Valerine said...

This is an awesome post.........My colleagues tripped laughin......i knw most of it is true...not al though..........but its amazing....

Samy said...

@Kosha Dids - Lol, Dipali herself knows this post is so true till the last word of it... lol ... Girls I tell you lol ...

@Nikhil - Thanks buddy :)

@Anonymous - Again without a proper ID and a name - What is so fun to be anonymous I don't get it lol ...

@Valerine - I seriously was laughing my ass off, when I first read it, and the best part of it is, that some of the points are really worth implementing in our daily path :) lol

rutvi said...

gud one..

rutvi said...

gud one :P