Will You Marry Me ? - I Asked, and the Answer was .... ???

Love, Emotions, Heart, Cupid, Romance, Happiness, Sadness - Everything put together in one basket, is what is called - L I F E - where the letters itself sums up to indicate Love Is For Ever !!!

Someone has rightly said, "How come we don't always know when love begins, but we always know when it ends?" ... Something similar happened with me and that is what I am gonna share with all of you out there ...

Love - is proved to bring the best out of any person and when it comes to the right moment, everything goes the smooth way, the right way, and at the end it comes down to just one simple question - "Will you marry me ?" ...

The time that goes by, after the question, is the hardest wait of all, the longest wait, 100s of things going in and out of your mind, your heart racing and thumping as if you just got a full dosage of adrenaline, and waiting with abated breath, with your voice and your thoughts trembling, just dreaming about what the answer would be, and what would be the reaction ....

I experienced something similar, and those moments, those few seconds, those heartbeats, I think I would never be able to describe, no matter how creative, and how good I can be at writing ... Those precious few moments, are the ones which I will remember all my life - simply Un Be Lievable ....

And The Answer Was ....

Click "READ MORE" to read the entire POST ....





Well lets just wait a little bit more, to know what the answer was, and lets take a short trip as we go down the memory lane, not too far, just about the beginning of the year 2008 ... I know my well wishers, friends, family all are awaiting to hear the entire series of events, and more importantly how the question "Will you marry me" was put forward .... lol ...so here we go then ....

I got a call late in the night, and had a small conversation with an uncle in Los Angeles, went through the same routine questions, of what I do, what did i study, family history etc ... Of-course, at that point of time I had no idea, what this was leading too... Months passed by after this conversation, and somehow or the other I still don't know why things did not shape up months back, but as its always said "Nothing before the right time, and nothing beyond one's destiny" ... (Waqt Se pehle nai, Aur Taqdeer Se Jyada Nai) ....

So then finally, about almost 2 months back, I went to Los Angeles, and I would say I went back home, as I have always considered LA my birth place, giving me everything that I am today, giving me life, education, morales, values, friends, family, my bread and butter, no matter what, I owe a lot to LA - the city of angels as its famously said ...
Some of you might already know how much LA means to me through my other posts, and there have been umpteen number of trips back and forth between the bay area and LA, but I didn't knew, that this trip of mine on 21st June, to the city which has given me so much, had yet stored the best gift of my life, had keep it waiting for me, had never ever even made me realize, that truly by its name of being a city of angels, would give me my angel for life ...

Yes that is how this all began, Los Angeles, 21st of June, marked the beginning of a lifetime binding, a life time of happiness, love started blossoming and the cupids were striking the right tune and rhythm ... Who knew what was to come next ...

So I met Dipali in Los Angeles, for the first time, 21st of June, went to her place, talked for some hours, met her parents, again went out the next day, just me and her, and that's how we decided to take our time, and see how it goes ... Then followed the phone call era, of talking on the phone and chatting all the time, all day long, and slowly slowly, we didn't realize how much we started liking each other, and how much we were rising in love, as I would never like to say "falling in love" ... With distance, our feelings for each other grew with time, she came to San Jose, I went there, and thus met a couple of times, and then finally I decided that its time to move on to the next level ...

I told her to make a trip on the 9th August weekend, and meanwhile, I told my parents too, that I am thinking of proposing and with their blessings, I worked out how I want to do this ... Well friday came, she came to SJ, I had already thought of what I would say and do, and where to go ...

The days which had just gone by, went through a lot of ideas in mind, about how to propose and also went through a lot of options what to gift and how and what to work out ... I spent a great amount of time on that, but finally got my idea correct ... So here is what I finally did ...

Saturday, took her to Twin Peaks, in San Francisco, with my gift, with my proposal idea, and with a bit of anxiety ... The gift which I had prepared was done by keeping in mind the rituals of a traditional Indian marriage, where the couple goes through 7 rounds of prayers, around the sacred holy fire ... And so keeping in mind that ritual, I had written 7 letters, and had prepared a gift basket for her attaching ribbons and what not, to each of these 7 covers, and each of these letter was like a link to the other, one cannot read any of the letters skipping the other one ...

Well there was a lot of anxious moments, when each of those letters were being opened, she had just started reading those, and I felt like just jumping off the Twin Peaks right into the cliff ahead of me, as such, I knew that people would be trying to say that "never jump in love, once you do so, you are never coming out" ... But nevertheless, I too, just like my fellow human beings, wanted to jump right into love, and so was pacing back and forth, trying to look from the corner of my eye, how many letters, had been completed ...

Everytime, a new letter was popped open, my heartbeat would increase by the speed of 100 miles per hour and I felt, as if my Heart would just pop out of my body, jump around, dance around and finally just take a hike down the cliff.... But I tried and I tried hard, to control it ... So Letter 1, Letter 2, Letter 3, 4, 5, 6 and finally the last Letter 7 - It came out ...

All this while, there were people - Americans, Chinese, few Indians, roaming around that place, and trying to figure out - or maybe trying to pity me - that here goes one more Bachelor - Lol .... But I didnt care, I just didnt bother to look around ... My eyes were focussed only on Dipali and the last letter she was holding ...

And so the letter went something like this ....

.... "So Turn Around as I Ask You .... "

And then the moment came ...

I took a deep breath, went down on one knee, took out the ring I had bought for her, she turned around, her face showing all shades of red and pink, i took her hand, and out came the question - "WILL YOU MARRY ME ?" ....

And suddenly I felt, as if everyone around us was just looking at us, there was no talks, no noises, nothing, except silence, and that silence that followed for almost like 3-10 seconds, was literally making me go nuts ... I felt, that I might just turn around and take a jump down the cliff....

BUT, BUT, BUT .... There came the answer which saved my life, and stopped me from jumping off the edge ...

The answer was a quick NOD, and out came the words "YESSSSS" !!!

Lol .... She gave me a hug, and I could still feel my heart just wont stop beating loudly ... And people around us just clapped, and whistled ... And then finally I heaved a sigh of relief ...

Phew ! What a moment, what a day, what a sight ... The fog was making this whole moment look absolutely beautiful, with the sight of the San Francisco city, from the clouds, and the love gods showering their blessings with just a little drizzle ...

Yes, I am finally committed, in love, loving each moment that passes by, life is taking a whole new shape, a whole new dimension, and with Dipali by my side now, my life has a whole new meaning to it, a whole new chapter and a long long journey which shall never end ...

About Dipali, she is 3 years younger to me, just finished her Bachelors in Finance and is working now... She is Jain, born and brought up in Ahmedabad, but living here in the US for the last 7 years with her family ...



So the boy with the bow and arrow which holds the key to people's heart, piercing them, and whom we all know by the name of "cupid", was working out something up above, thus creating ripples in my heart since a month or so, and finally with God's blessings, the moment came when it gave me the biggest missing piece of my life's puzzle ... I finally found that hand which I will hold for the rest of my life, i have found that special someone, who completes me and gives a whole new meaning of my existence and my life ....



Love

Samkit-Dipali

DejaVu - Have you ever felt it ?

DejaVu - What is it ? A belief ? Or is there some Science into it ? Is it just a psychological feeling or does it really happen in real life ?

Click "READ MORE" to read the entire post ...


The word itself Deja Vu in French means "already seen" ...
Do you get such a feeling that a particular event which is happening to you right now at this very moment has already occurred in past, and if you can feel that, then how much can you control that fraction of a moment ?
Can you control it the way you want to ? Or does it just pass away in a blink of an eye ?

Have you ever found yourself in such a DejaVu kind of a situation, and you just have this weird sense as if you have already experienced this event, before, sometime, somehow, and you almost, just almost know what had happened before, and what just happened, and to an extent you might even know what is coming next, but as soon as you think about the future event, or even about the next second, whoosh .. the moment just vaporizes in thin air ....

There could be any such event in your daily normal life, while driving a car, cooking food, talking to friends, watching a movie, playing any sports, or even best of all you could be reading this blog, and someone from you have this Deja Vu feeling that this post has already been written before, word to word, and you remember yourself reading to this post, and as these words are being written, you are just about to decide on commenting on my post, agreeing to the fact that you are also one of those 70 % population, experiencing this weird feeling of "already experiencing and living this moment sometime before" .... But then you think about this and about what your next step was, trying to recollect that past "already lived" moment, and you find that this feeling just disappeared, just completely blank, you move on and still comment on my blog post ... lol ...

Yup, you just had a dosage of what the researchers all over the world have not yet been able to conclude upon, and just have this theory that, Deja Vu is really prominent amongst most of us ... Its just that different people have different control over this series of events ... But nevertheless it does gives one a spooky feeling, a weird sense of understanding unless he or she knows, that there are millions of people out there who share this same kind of feeling ...

There is also a movie based on this phenomenon which has been released with the same name "Deja Vu", starring one of my favorite actor Denzel Washington, and the director and the entire movie production people have done a great job, in trying to recreate and depict this series of events ... Its a must see for people who are still new to this feeling of having "already seen", or "already lived" some moments twice ...

So do you ? Do you have this unique talent i would say of living some moments of your life "twice" ? Do you have this gift ? Have you experienced any such thing ?
Do you have some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally, of what we are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a remote time ?
Various notions which go along this feeling are,
"already seen", "already felt", "already said", "already experienced", "already visited" etc ...

But the question is can you answer and define clearly what exactly this state of event could be termed as ? - A disorder, a Re-incarnation effect, Some kind of science, or at the end simply put - Just one of the world known superstitious beliefs ?

Whatever be the answer, believe me you need to feel it, experience it, done it, in order to understand what exactly it is ... I have been going through this kind of phenomenon since I was in the 9th grade ... But till now I had never paid attention to it, until recently when I underwent this same event, with the only difference, I was able to control it to some extent ... But just recently the events changed ...

I was just sitting, with my friends, in my apartment, chatting with them, and I just suddenly got this feeling, that I have been in exactly this same kind of a situation before, discussing this same topic, this exact same surrounding, the way people were sitting around me, the way the TV was showing some useless advertisement, - everything was just so perfect like as if I was living the exact same 10-15 seconds AGAIN in my life ... But just as soon as I felt this, I said in my mind, OK, now my phone is going to ring and it should be "xyz" - And guess what, IT RANG !! and above all it was that same person whose name I just said !!!

Phew ! Spooky ? Weird ? I know these could be the adjectives one could tell me - but the fact remains, I just did not stop thinking what is coming next, and when I DID think about it, it happened ... Could be a co-incidence ? Am I trying to find an answer to this ? Why ? How ? Am I trying to make up and convince my mind of something - No way.. I dont think so and that's why I am not gonna pursue this thought any more of trying to find out what exactly is going on as I know its just not ME along, but 100s of people out there experiencing this same feeling ...

No way, this feeling is just something different, and I dont want to find any answer to it - lol ... let it just the way it is ...

Feel free to write and share your experiences of Deja Vu ... We might just find a connection somewhere ...

Cheers

Samy

4 Years of Changes - 4 Years of USA !!!

Today - 4th August 2008 ...

Rewind back, 4 years - 4th of August 2004 ....

How could I forget that day ... I was going to be a part of a land which is famously coined as "Uncle Sam" ... Ironically "SAM" being just a PART of my name, "SAMKIT" or maybe "SAMY" as most of the people in my life know me as .... But here I am standing at the LAX (Los Angeles Airport) figuring whether it would be "SAM"kit being a part of this land or will it turn the other way around and I would end up having uncle "SAM" just be a part of "SAM"kit ... At the end I had no answer to it, and I still don't have one ... lol !!!

So - Be it - I landed up in the land which is said to be the land of opportunities ... Well of course its up to us whether we can really find those opportunities or not, but at that point of time, I had no heck of an idea how my life down the line is going to be and what would I be doing in the year 2008 ....

Click "READ MORE" to read the entire post ...

That is what Life is all about - as a famous quote goes - "Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what is coming next, and you never know what will you get" - Its a surprise ...

I did not knew standing at the gates of the LAX airport watching numerous other Indian students like me walking by, and watching as those automatic glass doors slide back and forth, as if indicating that I should just make a U-turn and head back home in some days or should I exit those sliding doors and enter a whole new world of possibilities, experiences and surprises - all to be faced alone on my own for the first time without the protective cover of my family, my home, my culture and my roots ....

2004 to 2008 - If you would ask me has things changed ? Has the atmosphere changed ? Has my life changed ? Have I changed ? - The answer would be YES.
Just as a famous saying goes - "The Only Constant In Life, Is Change" ...

People have walked in and out of my life, memories got created, some made a deep mark within me, while some just disappeared with time, certain events came by, made their impact, positive or negative, and life still went on as it was supposed to be, after all at the end we all are just puppets and our strings are held high up above, thus guding us, governing us, controlling us, and we acting to the tune of the song which God has composed for us...

With this post, I would be trying to recollect what has changed since the day when I started this journey here in the US, till date, where I am still traveling and have not found the destination yet ... Lets see if you all out there can relate to some of these moments, some experiences to some extent and feel the same way as I am ...

All of 2004, till end of 2005, went quickly, with some pun and irony into it, that it went so fast, I never got a time to relax a bit and pen something down, which I have always wanted to since I started my undergrad back in India. So for starters that is what has changed in these recent years, now that you are reading this post, means I have changed and the pace of my life has changed a bit, where I can sit back and try to create some writings which I enjoy to the fullest, trying to express my self, my thoughts and more importantly, reach out to people.

Was the reason of time flying by fast - Studies, and only studies ? Nah !!! No way, well studies always came second, knowingly or unknowingly, which of-course I had to pay the price at the end, and that too you end up paying a costly one, if you are trying to obtain a Master of Science degree from "THE" University of Southern California, and that too in none other than, "THE" Electrical Engineering domain ... But yeah time did flew by, with some great friends, some nice relationships which have grown over time and have stood testimony of time, where each one of us have had their good and bad moments, but at the end what has mattered the most, is that these Few Relations In Earth Never Die - sums up to a word called "FRIEND"... We had a great time out there, the whole of 2004-2005, explored almost whole of Southern California, enjoying the summer of California, playing cricket, watching movies, eating junk food now and then, frequent trips to Taco Bell, creating havoc in 2717 orchard avenue, playing poker and partying almost every weekend ...

End of 2005, made a trip back to my home, to be with the family, to be in the comfort zone of familiar surroundings, not feeling out of the place, trying to figure out how my 2006 year would be shaping up with time running out fast, and finding myself, fighting on to survive in my endeavor of graduating from USC by getting just a bare 3.0 GPA - lol - now when I sit back and savor those moments, I feel like laughing out the tensed moments through which I had gone, trying to manage and get out of school, and start working ... At one point of time I had thought about giving up, which till day, thanks to my dad and mom, I never implemented that thought, and finally did manage "somehow" to get out with dignity and respect ... I owe that big time to my parents and some of my friends who were always there for me, to listen to my agony, my pain and yet holster me, boost me and cheer me up... That was truly the year of the real Trojan who had just one spirit in his heart - Fight On !!!

By the end of the year 2006 - a lot of things happened, and I term that year the defining year, the year of learning, being enlightened, and the year which would define of what I might just be the rest of my life, or at-least for a great amount of time, unless there would be other experiences which would teach me something.

There was a unique kind of victory, which was hidden in those tireless efforts, in the mental torture that I went through, those perplexed moments of frustration, trying hard and harder, waking up early in the nights, trying to figure out what I am gonna do - The whole of the year 2006, right from the moment I left home to come back here, and right till the moment I pursued all kind of different fields of engineering trying to get good grades, those fighting moments - Put it all in one nutshell, in one box, and that is all I carried out of USC, a box full of secrets to survive the surprises of Life, the strength to face the ups and downs of this roller coaster ride, and most importantly to ALWAYS remember those hard down moments during moments of success, to make me remain humble, to make me look back and nicely digest any success that might come my way, and more importantly to help myself keep my feet right on the ground where they should be and not fly in the air riding on the clouds of false arrogance and thinking as if I am "someone" ...

Yes, a lot of things did change for good inside me, and ever since then I did not remain what I was back in 2004. But as it is always heard - "All that happens, happens for a reason, and the reason is always Good"...

The day came when I opened up my laptop, with trembling hands, the news had just come in, that the final grades have been posted, all I needed was a B+ to graduate with a perfect 3.0, and there I was, in San Jose, giving an interview the very next day, and I was caught in two minds - To look at the grades, or just wait for one more day ? Will anything affect my interview tomorrow ? What would happen, if I got anything lesser than a B+ ? Will I have the strength to still carry on the fight of graduating ? What ? When ? How ? Why ? - Whoosh !!!
I said to myself - Cut the crap, lets just see what the grades are, the worst could not be so simple, and so I pointed my mouse at the "View Grades" tab, closed my eyes, said a simple prayer, and clicked the tab !!!
BINGO !! There it was ....
Grade Obtained : A -
Final GPA : 3.0

I HAD DID IT !!! I finally had managed to call myself proudly, a USC Graduate !!! Tears filled my eyes, my mind was going through a whirlpool of emotions, never ever felt before, and can never be expressed ... Called up my parents, who were more happier than me, as their AIM, their purpose, had finally come to a happy end ...

I might write my whole experience in a different post sometime in the future, but for now, the gist was, I was a changed person, these 2.5 years at USC had transformed me into a different human being, with a different set of ideas, principles, values, appreciation, emotions, thoughts and what not ..

Got a job in that week, moved out of Los Angeles, to start a new life in the Silicon Valley in San Jose, got back with my old friends from USC, and seeing them I figured out that its not just ME who has changed, but time has changed most of us out there ... some changes were for good and for the better while some changes were there just not for the taking ... But things and the environment DID CHANGE !!!

The professional years 2007-2008(till date), had given me a whole new horizon to explore, and learn as much as I can, with no burden of studies, no pressure of proving anything, just trying to be myself, and being a stable human being with each passing day .... A lot of new things and experiences surfaced and taking just tangents of those events, I started my steep learning curve... The end ? Is it over ? Not at all... I am still learning and I still have a lot to catch up with .... But I am just taking it as it comes and not rushing after things ....

One thing that does stand out is one tends to become a bit more self-centric here, its all about "Me" and the words "I". The word "Mine" starts bearing more weight than the words "Us", "Our", "We" ... That is one of the biggest change I have seen over the years and its hard for some people like me to believe that, and in fact actually walk through that phase, its easier for some to give in to those type of changes... I have always found it hard to resist them and have been trying to runaway from being such a selfish individual ... Lets see if I can still hold it off - lol ! ;-)

But, looking back to these 4 years, it seemed that just like the season changes every quarter, year round, these years have impacted a lot of changes within me too, some for good, some for the better while some changes should not have took place ... But no regrets, no worries, life is still the same deep down inside ...

Just wanted to share something on completing 4 long years, and would really love to hear from you too about your experiences.. So drop in a few lines if you can ...

Cheers

Samy

Are you Controlled by Your STARS ?

Are we really governed by our stars which got aligned at the time of our birth ?
There has been a great deal of research on this, and the astrological pundits have various theories to either justify this in the right sense, or just simply consider it as one of the superstitious beliefs which exists in this mundane world.

But if we feel it ourselves, then are we really convinced that such a phenomenon does exist ?

Click "READ MORE" to read the entire post ...

Is it really true that our actions, to an extent our behavior and our overall survival does depends on how our stars govern us, how those stars get aligned on a certain day ?

Are we ready to accept the fact that it could be our stars and a certain type of a day that causes our head to take a spin, where we face the worst of our fears, our concerns, our tensions, our inner self ?

Are we ready to agree to the theory that it was due to the stars that we ended up having a bad day, were in a foul mood the entire day, and took up a fight with close friends or even the person who does not hold any significance in your life like a servant, or your personal cook - even though all the things in our life were going smoothly and there are no explicit show stoppers ?

Is it really worth believing that given a bad day, with a wrong alignment of the stars, you could be blowing off a certain issue without proportion, or get caught up in a fight at the wrong time with the wrong reasons which could end up having a sour taste ?

Have you experienced some of the so-called "destiny" traits, for no reason whatsoever
- where your head seems to be feeling heavier than the usual,
- where you see each person around you as if he or she is trying to piss you off,
- where you find even the lightest piece of joke as something which was intended to be used on you personally,
- where you take up a fight with the least important people in your life like your servant, cook or the driver for a very minuscle issue ???

Are you able to accept that when such out of the routine, the not so normal things happen then it could be because its a day where your stars are not correctly aligned and you are facing the after effects of such an event ?

Speaking about these questions, personally I do have an answer to them - YES !!! Yes, I do feel these effects !

Yes ! I have gone through not just one or two, but several such experiences, event after event, whenever there has been such an anomlay of having the stars align in a different manner.

For me that D-day is the day of "Amavas".

Amavas - is the term given to a New Moon Day, wherein the new moon is the lunar phase that occurs when the Moon, in its monthly orbital motion around Earth, lies between Earth and the Sun, and is therefore in conjunction with the Sun as seen from Earth. At this time, the dark (unilluminated) portion of the Moon faces almost directly toward Earth, so that the Moon is invisible to the naked eye, as seen from Earth.

Its during this particular day of amavas that I feel the strength and the gravity of my stars taking control over my will, my thoughts and overall my composure and my actions. No matter what I do, how much I run away from it, the effects of this particular day always catch up with me sooner or later.

Such is the trance effect of this eventful day, that the effects start showing up even before 1 or 2 days before the actual event when the Amavas occurs. A day before this event, my head starts getting all heavy, and it seems as if I am being surrounded by a big big black cloud of fould mood... I can feel it right there and can do nothing about it...

Its during these days that I feel I am being tested by all means, and I try to fight it out hard, and not give in to the situation but no matter how hard I resist this, it always takes a toll over my thoughts and my composure that I finally lose it all the way...

Well, this entire belief could all be just superstitious or just a psychological effect - but whether its destined to happen or whether it is just a normal day but viewed as a day of sulking events through my eyes, I have concluded one thing - that there is something called the "STARS" ...

Everything is Planned and Whatever has to Happen, Will Always Happen, and it Always Does Happen - No Matter What !!!

The only real fight for me is not to resist that eventful day or these moments, but the struggle remains deep within - where I need to get through with this day - positively, without stirring any fights, any arguments, trying to avoid resistance, trying to take a step back from issues which could ignite a debate, stay away from things that could cause me to respond in an entirely different manner just because of the fact that its an Amavas - of course I would have addressed all of these above in a totally different atmosphere if given any other normal day ...
But its the effect of Amavas, which inclines me to respond to this kind of situations in a negative manner no matter what ...

For numerous occasions I have now tried the only thing I thought was doable and in my control - Avoid people, avoid talking to friends, avoid getting involved in discussions, avoid being with people who are important in my life ...
Then and only then I get through this kind of a bad day without any conflicts, quarrels, arguments or any heated conversations - because there is never an intent to hurt someone but such is the control of the day over me that my words could sound acidic even though there is no real meaning behind them ...

Anyways, today is a similar day of Amavas, and I have already stirred up things which could have been let go given a normal day, so lets see how this day turns out to be at the end ... Ofcourse there was no real intention or meaning of igniting certain things with certain people over the past 2 days or so, but nevertheless I cant justify anything due to the Amavas ...

Hope you guys have something to share similar to this ? Do share your experiences if you are in such kind of a situation now and then !!!

Cheers

Samy